Friends, family, misters and mistresses.
Welcome back to another edition of The Chalk & Talk newsletter.
Some call it Substack’s most daring publication, I just call it my passion.
Speaking of my passions, as some of you may know one of my new passions is health. The amount of times I have uttered the phrase “health is wealth, boys” in the past 3 weeks is quite frankly astonishing.
I have started a habit of getting a brutal workout in every morning where I usually do a light arms/core workout followed by cardio that would make a weaker man cry, and then I come home and have a smoothie that consists of either kale or chard or mixed greens, sunflower or almond butter, and water. Legend has it that this too would make a weaker man cry.
It is disgusting? Absolutely. Does it make my digestive system look like Mr. Clean came through? You betcha! Am I singing the praises of vegetables on the rooftop of my home? Of course! I’m feeling like I’m on the top freakin’ floor.
Here’s a pic so you guys know I am in no way capping.
The kale smoothie (pictured here) tastes ok, but it’s pretty gnarly because the kale doesn’t ever blend up all the way so you end up with a nasty foam head of kale matter at the top of your smoothie that you still have to chew a little.
The chard smoothie tastes awful, but the chard does blend up all the way. Have to say though, the chard smoothie made me really nauseous.
The mixed greens smoothie tastes slightly better than the chard one, and like the chard, it does blend up completely, and it makes me less nauseous than the chard.
And as for the choice between almond or sunflower butter, what I will say is this: almond butter tastes better but is a lot more expensive and has a higher carbohydrate level than sunflower butter. Almond butter is what I give myself as a reward for great work.
Smoothie power rankings
Mixed greens
Best taste, is easy to drink, minimal nausea.
Kale
Second best taste, is hard to drink, but no nausea.
Chard
Worst taste, easy-ish to drink, considerable nausea.
Will I start a disgusting-morning-smoothie-health-lifestyle TikTok account at some point this summer? Only time will tell.
Another thing I have been up to recently— sorting out my sports cards collection!
I took my 10 favorite cards and I am sending them to Beckett Grading Services to be graded! Hoping for all 10/10’s but that’s doubtful.
I think most of these are 10s, but the Wade Boggs card one definitely is not. There is a little grease mark on the back that is there because of the 35-year-old gum that was in the pack that it came in. The Panini Sunburst cards (the 3 in the center of the bottom row) are also minorly bowing. It’s hard to tell, but these grading guys are tough. I fear I’ve got all 9’s there.
Also, a funny thing to note, the Kirby Puckett card I have is a special edition printing error card because his career total games number on the back of the card is wrong. It should say 924, but it says 824. Fun little Easter Egg that raises the value of the card!
The cards should be back in my possession in 60+ business days according to Beckett, so we’ve got some waiting to do, but I will share the results here immediately upon their return.
Alright, how about we talk about sports betting now?
Your boy has been on a capital-R Run recently!
Last night I cashed Anthony Davis under 26.5 points as my only play of the day, but then I also cashed the max play I put out on the Nuggets Series ML. It was even easier than I thought! I thought Denver would win in 5, but wow, how about 4?! What a treat!
For some reason though, Action Network still has not officially graded that bet as a win, so that victory is not shown in this iteration of my profit chart. Oh well, it’ll be on there soon enough. I think they’re waiting for the Eastern Conference Finals to end.
Check this shit out though. Here is my profit chart since March 9th.
I have been absolutely bludgeoning the sportsbooks since I lowered my total bet volume. Life has been quite good. Bought my girlfriend some rollerskates (surprisingly expensive shit right there), got us a trip to Vegas, and got her a sweet set of luggage for that trip as well.
But we can’t rest on our laurels. We can’t get complacent. We can’t let up!
It’s time to pick some more winners for today.
Are you ready?
Today’s plays
1.75 units - MLB 5/23 3:35pm - Rangers ML @ Pirates (-154)
(Eovaldi/Hill must start)
Eovaldi has been great this season and I do not expect the Rangers to be flat 2 days in a row. They are simply too good this season, and my numbers have this ML at -200. Not quite a max play because of the Rangers’ bullpen, but I am very confident in this play at this price. Play good to -160, reduce by a half unit for every 10 cents of juice below there.
1.75 units - NHL 5/23 5:00pm - Golden Knights @ Stars ML (-145)
With the Golden Knights having won 2 super close games in overtime to start this series, I expect the Stars to come out very motivated in game 3 and with positive regression on their side. I think these teams are very evenly matched, and while Vegas is slightly better, I will be very surprised if they are able to beat Dallas 3 times in a row. Despite Vegas putting the clamps down defensively in game 1, the Stars figured them out in game 2, though they did lose another heartbreaker. The Stars improved by 1.02 xG in game 2, and I expect that improvement to continue into game 3. Take Dallas up to -150 for 1.75u, and reduce by a half unit for every 10 cents of juice below there.
1 unit - MLB 5/23 3:40pm - Cardinals @ Reds over 10 (-122)
(ACTION)
The Cardinals have scored 37 runs in their last five games. Graham Ashcraft was hammered twice by this Cardinals lineup last year— he gave up 16 hits and eight earned runs allowed in just 9.1 innings of work. The bullpen behind him has struggled mightily this year too. Great American Ballpark is a classic hitter’s park and Adam Wainwright has been especially bad there, he was 0-2 with a 9.58 ERA on this field last year. Plus he’s been bad in general recently! He may be fully washed up. The Cardinals bullpen behind him has been overused significantly since their last day off back on May 11th. On a warm night in Cincinnati, expect the ball to fly. Put 1 unit on this at over 10, and a half unit at over 10.5. No play at 11 or higher.
1 unit - MLB 5/23 3:10pm - White Sox @ Guardians ML (-123)
(Cease/Allen must start)
I know some will view Dylan Cease as attractive in the underdog role here, but he has a 5.31 road ERA, and overall, his xERA is two full points higher than last season. Something is off with the White Sox ace this year. On the other side, Logan Allen has allowed 3 ER or less in all five of his starts this year. While the Guardians’ offense has been pretty inept so far, this is a team that’s on a three-game win streak at home and they’ve won 67% of their games at Progressive Field the last 3 seasons as a favorite of -125 to -175. So -123? Yeah, I’m deploying a unit on that. Reduce to 0.75u at -140, and 0.5u at -150. No play at -160 and below.
0.5 unit - NBA 5/23 5:30pm - Celtics @ Heat under 217 (-110)
I waited to release this play as the O/U line has been going up. I believe that the higher total, which is now the highest of the series, is providing us with excellent value. The. ‘under’ is 21-12 the past 33 times that Boston was off three consecutive ‘overs,' 9-5 in that situation his season. The Heat have been playing stingy defense all series and that should continue with an opportunity to close things out. Meanwhile, the Celtics will surely be determined to bounce back with a better defensive performance. Look for the final score to prove lower-scoring than many will be expecting.
0.5 unit - MLB 5/23 5:40pm - Marlins F5 ML @ Rockies (-125)
(Pérez/Gomber must start)
Pérez is one of the most electric starting arms in MLB, and Austin Gomber has been utter shit this year. At -125 I have to sprinkle on this, but we must tread lightly here because the Marlins are due for some negative regression IMHO. Play good to -135.
One play for tomorrow!
1.5 units - EPL 5/24 12:00pm - Manchester City @ Brighton +0.75 (-118)
Manchester City wrapped up the league title with a 1-0 win against Chelsea over the weekend, and will no doubt let off some steam in the run-up to this game, especially with the elusive treble still in play for the Sky Blues, with the FA Cup final on June 3rd against Manchester United followed by the Champions League final against Inter just a week later on June 10th. There’s just no way that they give Brighton, my favorite midtable team all season long (Brentford honorable mention), their full attention. Brighton will be focused and I think they should at least be able to manage a draw, and even if they lose by 1 we only lose half of this bet. Play good to +0.5 at +105, reduce to 1 unit if you have to settle for +0.5 at less than even odds. Reduce to a half-unit play at +0.0 (draw no bet).
Alright guys, that does it for me today.
I hope you found today’s issue insightful, funny, and interesting. Have a great week, and I will talk to you all again on Friday.
Until then, please gamble responsibly and enjoy the games, even if your bets are losing.
And don’t forget— HEALTH IS WEALTH.
Adios,
8-Bit
High as the top floor but I cop more an keep hittin. That graph is looking almost as green as that smoothie